The second time Stewart and I visit the sex club is a surreal experience.
We arrive early – the club opens at 9pm and we are at the bar and chatting with the owners by 9.30. There is a single man at the bar I recognise from the last time we were here. It is just the three of us for a while.
Next to the bar there is a lounge area with sofas. Stew and I retire to this to talk and kiss.
A new couple comes into the club. They are instantly all over each other and we watch them kiss and lean against each other as they drink wine at the bar.
Shortly thereafter they come over and sit on one of the sofas. Within minutes his cock is out and she’s on her knees giving him head. The single man perches on the sofa next to them and watches intently, stroking himself through his trousers.
Stew and I made a plan before we arrived that this time, we wanted to fuck in one of the voyeur rooms, so that people could watch from outside. It was hot just talking about this and we’d discussed different scenarios for how this might play out.
Another couple and some single men enter the club and congregate at the bar. We decide it’s time to find our room. We have a walk around and settle on one of the private rooms but decide to leave the door open, thinking people would watch from the doorway.
We strip, Stew lies down on the bed and I begin to suck his cock, my back to the open door.
I am vaguely aware that the sofa-blowjob couple have come into the room. Stew welcomes them to join us on the bed, and so they do and begin to fuck. The voyeur single man has also come into the room and is standing by the bed watching them. He gets his cock out and begins to wank. The woman in the couple reaches out to me and I hold her hand while she is fucked and I continue to suck Stew’s cock.
More people enter the room. At one point Stewart says, ‘and then there were seven!’
I stop giving Stew head and he begins to fuck me, doggy style. I don’t know how to handle what is happening in this room. I am still vaguely aware of people moving in and out of the room but I don’t look up. It’s as if some part of me thinks if I can’t see them they aren’t really there, all around my naked body.
I become aware of a mismatched couple standing next to the bed, fully clothed and watching us. She is in her mid-40s; he looks about 30. We stop fucking and lie on the bed; Stew begins to rub my clit. I whisper in his ear that I am going to fake an orgasm for show, and I do this.
Stew decides it’s time for a cigarette and to move on from this now-crowded room. He stands up to put his clothes on. I sit up and realise that the 30ish man from the side of the bed is now kneeling in between my legs, wanking. A stranger, wanking, in the direction of my naked pussy. The woman has latched onto Stewart’s cock with her mouth, and is going hell for leather, giving him an aggressive blowjob while rubbing his balls.
I quickly move backwards and away from the wanker and ask Stewart, ‘what is the etiquette here?’ Neither of us knows. In the end he pats the woman on the head and says, ‘I’m sorry but I need to go for a cigarette,’ and somehow we manage to extricate ourselves from them and get dressed.
It is a quiet night in the club. We find ourselves back at the bar with a few single men. I have zero interest in doing much else here but we learn that all of the other (six to eight) people are in the big group sex room, so we decide we’d best have a look in.
There is a voluptuous woman lying down, giving head to a man standing next to the bed while another man fingers her (she is a squirter apparently, and this has aroused some interest). Her husband is fully dressed and standing by the bed. The sofa-bj-bed-fuck couple are in here now, and he is going down on her. The single wanking man is still watching them and still wanking.
The mismatched couple come into the room. She drops to her knees and begins to rim the man who is getting a blowjob. Her partner gets onto the bed and begins to perform a strange thrusting action in between the gushing woman’s legs – not actually fucking her but pretending to.
We decide it’s time to go. Or, more truthfully, Stew realises I think it is time to go.
This club scares me. I don’t feel in control here. I feel as though anything could happen any time, and very quickly. I could find myself in a very bad situation here. I feel too vulnerable.
As with other things I have tried with Stew, I feel there must be some worth in coming here. There must be something I need to learn. We decide to go again the next night as well – it’s the club’s Christmas party night and we know it will be busy and could be fun.
Saturday night rolls round and Stewart starts to talk about when we are going to leave and I tell him I don’t want to go. Not only do I tell him I don’t want to go but I burst into great wracking sobs about it. I want to be this open minded, cool, swinging goddess. But I am not. I feel shame and I feel I’ve let him down – for not being this goddess and for saying we won’t go tonight.
I don’t like feeling this vulnerable. I don’t feel like this in any other part of my life. I am a confident, productive, successful person. I have been through a lot in life and always come out stronger from negative experiences. There has to be something good in this club and swinging experience, surely? This can’t be for nothing.