woman mother baby child statue

Kinky mother

I was in a professional meeting a few weeks ago, and another person in the meeting was talking about someone who wasn’t there, who has the same job as me.

‘She is rubbish at her job,’ they said. ‘And anyway, she’s a swinger.’

Wow. A swinger! Ironically, the only way anyone would know this person is a swinger is if they encountered her while they themselves were swinging… but I digress.

So this woman, who, like me has a job involving children, is a swinger. So what? Whatever could this have to do with her suitability for her job?

It really made me think, ‘Christ, if just being a swinger is so terrible, what if they knew about me and my (very kinky) lifestyle?’

I have thought about this a lot actually, even before this meeting. What if people knew?

The general public needs educating about what kind of mothers kinky women are.

This is a story about one particular kinky mother.

This woman loves to be bound and beaten as part of sexual play. She is in a D/s relationship where she is submissive and answers to ‘kitten’.

This woman is up in the night with her unsettled child, rubbing lotion on dry winter skin. She brings water and a banana sliced just so.

Bleary eyed from lack of sleep, kinky mother puts together the elements of a school uniform, and helps her child get dressed.

This woman prepares the breakfast and the packed lunch, reads and responds to notes from school.

Kinky mother bundles child up into coat, hat, scarf, gloves. Finds favourite toy for the car. Scrapes ice off car. Drives to school.

She ‘hello’s and ‘alright?’s her way through the school gates to the classroom. She speaks to the teacher about the child not having a lot of sleep.

Kinky mother stops at a shop on the way home – the child needs new night clothes and underwear.

After school she takes her child to a soft play centre, and then home for a dinner she has prepared from scratch.

Kinky mother reads with her child. Plays keepy uppy with a green balloon.

She baths the child. Tucks child up in bed. Reads a story. Lies with child until child is asleep.

This is a day in the life of a kinky mother – a woman who likes her sex hard and rough.

‘Kinky’ and ‘mother’ are both mutually exclusive and completely intertwined. The kinky elements of this woman’s sex life never come near her child. However the confidence gained from her Daddy/kitten relationship impacts everything and provides her life with a protective layer of calm and order.

This post should really be titled, ‘Mother, kinky’, as (most) mothers are mothers first. This is true for not only kinky mother and swinging mother but camgirl mother, sex worker mother, sex toy reviewing mother and erotic writer mother (or father, of course).

The sexual aspects of our lives – however alternative or mainstream – have nothing to do with our ability to parent or our commitment to parenting. If anything they make us better parents because our true selves are being fed and cared for.

People are frightened by what they don’t understand. It can be difficult for even very open-minded people to understand a lifestyle that is different to theirs.

The fear can lead to gossip, which at best causes stress but quickly fades and at worst ruins lives. It can lead to children being taunted on the playground about their parent. It can lead to a parent losing custody of a child due to misunderstanding and misinformation.

I was so taken aback in that professional meeting that I didn’t say, ‘what does that have to do with anything?’ Of course, I didn’t think of a good, sharp response until much later.

In future I will fight comments such as these, and defend those being ‘accused’ of what I believe to be actually a high level of self care.

 

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