This is a very complicated story, so bear with me while I unpick it for you.
For a time when I was with Stewart, it was agreed that I could meet single men on my own as long as it was for one-off or very occasional NSA sex. I had to tell Stew about the men in order for him to vet them. I also had to tell him exactly what we did, and take pictures while I was with them. There were things I was not allowed to do as well. This was acceptable to me as I was formally owned by Stewart.
There was just one snag. I fell in love with the first single man I met, and one-off, NSA, occasional sex was absolutely out of the question.
I met James on a swinging website. His profile was vague – he didn’t even have any pictures on it. However this sentence at the end of the text drew me in:
‘I’m looking to expand my circle of trusted friends.’
And I thought, ‘oh I like that. Me too!’
I sent him a message. We began a general chat about life.
James’s profile said nothing about BDSM or D/s. However, as many will know, we D/s people bring these things out in each other. A self-acknowledging Dom and sub will quickly recognise each other, and this was certainly true between James and me.
By the time we met in person I was utterly smitten with this Dom man. Once in his bed he bound me with underbed restraints and I will never forget this – as he was so gentle and sweet with this act – more like he was tucking me up in bed than tying me up to fuck me. He made constant eye contact. There was just something decidedly special and different about this man.
The first meet lasted around three hours. Now, if you have been following the story you will know that with Stew, a whole week of activity could happen in three hours – fucking, cooking, making coffee, eating, looking at potential new partners online, watching a YouTube video, beating, etc.
With James, three hours of fucking meant just that: Three. Hours. Of fucking. Of solid attention. I had James’s total attention for every minute I was in his house. I don’t think I have ever had any man’s total attention for more than about 20 minutes.
This was powerful stuff.
I liked James a lot and knew that we had things in common despite not actually talking much during that first three hours. I arranged to meet him for dinner the following week.
And this was where things got tricky with Stewart. You don’t have dinner with NSA people.
I have a complicated life. I have a husband and a disabled child, and at this point I also had an owner/Dom/lover. Surely, there was no more space in my heart for anyone else.
I was quite wrong on this point.
Not only was there room for James in my heart but a whole, rather large house to explore and delight in. We had a connection unlike anything I’ve felt with anyone before (and I have felt a lot of people in my 47 years).
I saw him for a second fuck meet and spent most of the time with my hands in a spreader bar, wearing the most gorgeous strappy, diamante-studded stripper heels (given that most of the time I look a bit like the vicar’s wife this was delightful). Both of these things he put on me with such care and tenderness I thought I would simply melt before he even fucked me.
My need to see and communicate with James was intense. I liked him so much! We shared a lot – similar taste in music, similar views, similar personality.
This also meant that, like me, James is intense. We had misunderstandings – huge ones. The only thing Stewart and I ever argued about was James and my feelings for James and my seeing James.
Stewart forbade me to see or even speak to James.
This is like saying to me, ‘you will just have to live without oxygen.’
And I am not even being dramatic, it was that serious.
So we waited, James and I. Apart. Not seeing each other. Having the briefest of inconsequential conversations.
Until Stewart finished with me. And the emotional blockade stopping me from seeing James lifted.
Now, it may seem cold that I could move so quickly from Stew to James. But such is life. I am a sub. I must have a Dom. I need to be owned, to be a pet.
James and I had respected Stew’s wishes and for two months had not seen each other. Once Stewart released me, there was no stopping our being together.
The reunion was intensely sweet. As before, James was entirely focused on me and only me. I was finally home.
James is a natural Dom. It is in his cellular makeup to be this way. My submissive nature matches perfectly with his, very much like a key fitting a lock.
And so, onwards and upwards for me in this kinky world. A whole new world of exploration awaits!