Many of us who have found a home (spiritual, physical, emotional, social…) in kink and BDSM always knew we were a bit different.
From early sexual experiences we knew we liked it a bit rough, or wanted to be dominated, or to pin down our sexual partners during sex. Most of us fumbled through these feelings and needs with unwilling and/or perhaps even disgusted vanilla partners, eg, ‘you want me to do what??’
An unfulfilled kink existence is like having an itch you can’t scratch – for decades.
I have always wanted rough sex. I have always wanted to be small and coveted. I have always wanted someone to make decisions for me. I have always wanted to be utterly dominated, to give up power to a male sexual partner.
Given that I’ve had very little of any of this over 30+ years of sexual activity means that my true submissive nature has only every been a vague inkling for me.
Now I am in a D/s relationship where my man and I can fully explore our deepest desires. I am a kitten with a Daddy. I am beaten, tied, cuffed, electrostimmed, fucked, forced, pinned, held, bitten, immobilised. Et cetera.
I am ecstatic.
This lifestyle feeds me. I have it now and can never go back to Vanillatown.
Although I am new to this world, there is a large local BDSM community and I know my circle of kinky friends will grow. However, I am bursting with joy now. Who can I tell?
Even before I found my D/s home, when I had met someone new and we were exploring exciting things and having threesomes, etc., I was happier than I had been in years.
I told a close and trusted friend, someone I was in very regular contact with, about this new relationship and its dynamic. She was very happy for me and very supportive. But I have not heard from her, and we have not seen each other again – for about four months now.
I told another close friend and got a very different response. Although this friend is supportive of me and anything I do, she was shocked. Shocked and upset. So much so that it threatened to ruin our friendship, which is precious to me. In the end I decided to lie and say I had ended things with that person, because I couldn’t bear how much I’d upset her.
Now life has moved on and I am in a new relationship which meets every need I have – not just for D/s or BDSM but also emotional security. I am excited about a new, incredibly fulfilling future I could not have foreseen a year ago.
Who do I tell? I want to tell everyone. I want to shout it from the rooftops.
I can and do tell…